Porked! (1986)

movie

(134)

Country: USA
Genres: Adult
Release:
Director: Joseph W. Sarno
Writers: N/A
Language: English
Stars: Damien Cashmere , Jeanna Fine , Ron Jeremy , Michael Knight , Lady Magic , Nina Preta , Frank Serrone , Lotta Topp
Runtime: 87 min
Awards: N/A
AKA: Porked! (United States of America) , Porked!
Plot: Ron Jeremy is allowed to do pretty much whatever he pleases as a caped cult guru in this tiresome Joe Sarno porn quickie. Its DVD reissue has almost no original artwork intact, just displaying generic photos from other videos including a picture of Sue Nero who has nothing to do with this junker.Jeremy's assistants are Jeanna Fine, wearing her unappealing died blonde Mohawk hairdo in her pre-boob augmentation phase and Nina Preta, particularly underwhelming star of many a Sarno video. Supposedly the guru has vowed to be celibate (pretty difficult for busy porn actor Ron), but Fine knows how to get him to break it.Very sloppy direction has a fadeout right in the middle of an early scene of Fine's dialog exposition -it's "who cares?" time again. She sends a latina girl Lady Magic (unsuccessful porn actress with only 3 credits in IMDb to her name), who has extreme problems enunciating her English dialog.Next up is Lotta Topp, who is credited at the top of the video with her 55FF-26-36 measurements. She is truly bored with this assignment, but hypnotizes Preta (hard to tell when she's always barely conscious on screen) and then sells Ron an aphrodisiac after shave for $5,000. (My mind wandered to what that would represent with inflation since '86 -ouch!).The aphrodisiac gimmick was used for countless Sarno videos in the '80s, and here it's just an excuse for an endless series of mix & match couplings, with Damien Cashmere showing up too.This cheapie has virtually no costume changes, with Fine wearing the same unattractive outfit throughout. To break up the claustrophobic atmosphere Sarno inserts filler shots of Fine walking around Central Park at random. Rock music track is identical to at least 20 other of these '80s videos, all reissued by Video-X-Pix.
IMDB:tt0190652