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The Story of Eloise () LoadingSUBSCRIBE

4.9 (10)
  • Country:
  • Genres: ,
  • Release: 1976-03-31
  • Director: Shaun Costello
  • Writers: Shaun Costello
  • Language: English
  • Stars: Bobby Astyr , Buddy , Holly Bush , John Bush , Jean Dalton
  • Runtime: 61 min
  • Awards: N/A
  • AKA: The Story of Eloise , The Story of Eloise (United States of America)
  • Plot: Shaun Costello's formula of silly comedy and gonzo sex produces ludicrous results in THE STORY OF ELOISE. On paper the pornographer is an overachiever cranking out endless 1-day wonders (and later more ambitious XXX projects) but in terms of realization I see underachievement.First reel or so plays like going to someone's home where a Bob Dylan LP is on the turntable, as 16-year-old Eloise (the lovely Jean Dalton) is humped by Willard (non-starter porno performer Buddy). He tries to put on a Southern accent and the scene is supposedly set in the South (that is, a hotel room south of Central Park). Song after song from the 1969 Columbia LP "Nashville Skyline" by the great Zimmerman upstages the visuals and would have cost probably 20 times ELOISE's negative cost if rights had been licensed by Mr. C.Costello his good ole self shows up frequently as WBSF TV reporter Edgar Frank, on the sidewalk mic in hand with breaking news updates about the impending firing of Universal American prez Zarryl Danuck and his corporate board in a shakeup of the supposedly ancient NYC movie studio. This level of satire is so lame (WB & Fox's Zanuck and always Left Coast located Universal international targeted) I knew we were in for a rough hour.Dalton gives an endless blow job in extreme closeup. Scene shifts to Danuck, a bearded definitely not porn material actor John Bush who nevertheless pops up in many NYC productions. His wife Zelda with long black hippie-era hair Holly Bush services him, with the soundtrack switching to imitation Chick Corea style jazz fusion.Bobby Astyr is cast as Danuck's publicity exec Arnold, woken up in bed by Zarryl to come over to his apartment and deal with the impending crisis. Astyr's in bed with two girls (uncredited, perhaps pick-ups off the street by Shaun for the film) and their troilism scene leads to the film's one cause celebre, a 5-minute fisting, requested by the brunette. With the blonde assisting Astyr's arm movements, we're treated to this forbidden fruit, no longer permissible in today's world of self-censored porn. It's tedious rather than arousing and plays, with greased up vagina in closeup, much like the equally forbidden stump sessions of Jean Silver. Ever the comedian, Astyr quips: "I hate to fist f*ck and run" when he manages to remove his arm from the girl's vagina at long last, and head for the Danuck meeting.Added to the mix is Warren Blatty, a major director for Universal American, poorly played by another random and unidentified performer. I was wondering about the joke here, combining Warren Beatty and William Peter Blatty ("Exorcist"fame) and you get no punchline.Costello dutifully covers the big meet at the apartment as if it were the Suez crisis, anticipating by a few decades the nonsense in so-called news reporting of the dreaded (who asked for it anyway?) TMZ. The meeting turns into an orgy and Shaun goes upstairs and joins in, first humping and interviewing simultaneously. Typical of a very sloppy B.S. (Costello's banner) production, the two girls from Astyr's fisticuffs scene show up mid-orgy by magic, but don't do anything kinky.Universal's brain trust comes upon the idea of looking for the all-American girl (not Peggy Church of the classic porn film by that name, but Dalton), with Eloise conveniently phoning up Aunt Zelda (Mrs. Danuck) announcing she's arrived in NYC and wants to become an extra in the movies.After she does sightseeing past Times Square movie marquees including crucially the Harem Theater, Eloise arrives at the Danuck apartment and joins the orgy. At first merely stripping for Blatty, she's later subjected to a "taste test" and then lost in the shuffle of bodies, with Costello treating us twice to his favorite trope, two dicks in a chick's mouth, before a montage of money shots, all while funky music plays. A dollop of incest is tossed into the mix, as Aunt Zelda has lesbian sex with Dalton amidst the group sex.Picture ends with Shaun back on the street with mic, reporting a happy ending for the studio, while getting a blow job, hopefully below frame to protect the sensibilities of WBSF viewers (but not ours in the Adult cinema audience).I enjoyed watching big-name porn films in the early/mid-1970s, ranging from Damiano and Findlay to less prominent titles, but apart from Costello's own LISA MEETS MR. BIG I don't recall ever watching any of these 1-day junkers theatrically - the type of theaters I went to in Cleveland or on visits to NYC were REAL theaters (formerly foreign-film Art theaters), that didn't book this low-end crap. Discovering these hundreds of ephemeral films 30 to 45 years later through the magic of Beta/VHS/DVDs/DVD-Rs, I'm glad I wasted my time and money back then on more interesting stuff.
  • IMDB:tt0149158
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